Soccer is a great sport, it requires agility, strength, speed and stamina. Like rugby, which I used to play, there are no pads. Just a bunch of sweaty dudes running around kicking a ball into a net. Sure there’s strategy, tactics, strength of will: it’s a sport. There’s also annoying people with loud annoying instruments from all over the world to make noise and cheer on their nation.
Great, I get it. This is the one time that everyone else in the world gets to act like assholes. Their problem is that we in the ass-kicking US of A are always loud and annoying. If being loud was an act of patriotism, we must be the global cheerleaders for the United States.
Just in the last couple years, we’ve decided to USURP the foreign love of soccer and make it our own. Make no mistake, millions of us, myself included, really don’t care. There are more of us that care about other sports than the ones who care about soccer. That’s the louder majority, those sudden soccer-lovers. If we don’t win the World Cup no one will care in two weeks. Other nations will celebrate, or cry themselves to sleep, but we will move on.
They can like their sport, I don’t care. The sad fact is that people take more pride in sports teams than their own families. If they do, that’s their problem, not mine. Show your spirit, America. Be loud and rambunctious and cheer on the national team, go for it.
Those of you in the rest of the world, enjoy your time of being loud and annoying. Feel better that you get to let off some steam, get loud, celebrate as a nation.
We Americans will do it the other 335 days out of the year while you insult us. And we’ll have fun doing it.
